On Sunday this past week I was traveling down a major street where I live and noticed a man walking on the side of the road. He had his thumb perched out of his fist hoping to secure a ride. I glanced over at him and continued to drive by while ignoring his plea for a lift. I drove about a block down the street and felt an incredible amount of shame and guilt for driving past him, so I turned around and went back to offer him a ride. Despite all the flags that were going off in my head about picking up a strange and quite a large man I might add, I just did it. As I approached him to offer the ride, even he looked at me with skepticism. He opened the car door and got in. I asked him where he was going and it turns out we were heading to the same place. We both sat quiet for the first km or so, I then asked him how he was. He quickly responded, “I am in a really bad place”. He then proceeded to tell me the summary of his life which took about 4 minutes, like a well rehearsed story teller. He left out all the small details and emotion but pretty much got most of his woes in there. I felt compelled to say something or at least identify with him on some of the issues he was expressing, but I remained quiet and just listened instead. I had a hard time not crying. Not that his life was all that bad, but for some reason his pain or frustration was overwhelming and I felt like somehow there was more. His pain seemed much deeper.
Job loss, repossessed car, divorce, child custody issues, no family ties.... you get the picture. Despite the fact that his problems only mirrored a few of my dilemmas I felt as if he was poking at the bruises I have deep within me. After we arrived at our destination he turned to me and asked me why I felt compelled to pick him up. He expressed his confusion as to why a woman “like me” (whatever that meant) would pick up a stranger, no less a man. I laughed and responded by telling him, “I just needed the company.” It was true; I was feeling awfully shitty on Sunday and quite enjoyed the adrenaline of picking up a hitch hiker. Not that I have a death wish or anything!!! Ahhahaha. We sat in the car for at least another ½ hour just chatting about life and the hard ships that many people face. It turns out it was quite therapeutic for me.
In the end this is what came of my hitch hiking encounter.... I engaged with someone I would never have met unless I had picked him up. He shared with me some of his problems and I listened. His voice was heard. Maybe just maybe there was a reason for it.
Turns out.....there was, just as he was about to leave my car he started to weep. He turned to me and said I just found out on Friday that I have cancer. My heart dropped; I desperately held back my tears. I held his hand and assured him that he would get through it just fine. Now I am not certain he will.... I just said the first thing that came to mind. He asked me “haven’t I been through enough? I could have shared my own story with him but I didn’t. Not that I didn’t want to, it is just that it was not the appropriate time. It was his moment to unload; I just let him do that. I gave him my email address and let him know that he could contact me if he ever needed to talk. He halfheartedly threw it in his pocket and again thanked me for the ride. After he exited my car I sat in awe and wondered if I did the right thing by not telling him my own story to perhaps offer some encouragement to him. For some reason I just could not find the energy to share that day. I continued with my day but felt an incredible amount of guilt and anguish as perhaps I was supposed to share? I am not sure. When I went to bed Sunday night I fell asleep thinking about this man and wondered if he would ever contact me.
This morning I was off to get blood work and found myself sitting amongst other patients when I looked up and saw my hitch hiking friend. He was being toured around the clinic by a Cancer Society Volunteer. I wasn’t sure if he would recognize me so I did not make any gestures towards him. A few minutes later he walked over to me and bent down and hugged me. We held each other for a few seconds before we both started to cry. He whispered “I guess God does work in mysterious ways”... He sat down beside me and we immediately engaged in a conversation. I told him that I had not stopped thinking about him since Sunday and he uttered the same sentiment. I apologized to him for not giving him any supportive words when we spoke on Sunday. He corrected me and said, “You did, your silence was support and only someone who has been through a lot knows that listening is sometimes all we need”.
I wanted to share this absolutely incredible story today as I felt it was a true testament to what I wrote about yesterday! Sharing is so very important! I guess sharing also means listening.......I am amazed with all of the opportunities that I am presented along my journey. Although my opinions of others can be jaded on occasion, I do believe that God keeps putting "the right" people on my path for a reason. I will probably never see this man again but am thankful I met him. He reminded me that my words are more than words, but in fact they are living proof that when we reach out there is always someone there. Some skeptics will say it was a coincidence that this happened, but true believers know that this was a premeditated encounter by someone who was either looking out for him or ME!
~Christine~
you are amazing
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