Why NOT Share?

On several occasions after posting on this blog I received emails from people; the core of the email was that they were surprised about the level of personal thoughts I was sharing with “the world” and referred to me as “brave”. I guess I never really thought about it like that. In fact I would have never guessed that I was “brave” for doing so. I thought long and hard about what I write and why I do so with the intention of discovering whether or not my blogs were too personal in nature. 

Truth is I am not brave, I just think I am honest. My struggles are not unique and therefore many of my readers identify with my feelings. I have said all along that my cancer and life struggle is no different than anyone elses problems. I define cancer as being any situation that is hard to handle without love and support, understanding and determination to get past it. Is drug addiction or alcoholism or being with an abusive partner, or experiencing financial hardship, divorce, betrayal or infertility, diabetes, chrons etc......... any different of a struggle? The answer is no. Any time we face a difficult situation that attacks our stability or our ability to live in peace is like having cancer. I never asked for cancer or any other crap thing I have had to deal with so, how is that different from facing any traumatic experience or problem? It is not.

Why do so many people shy away from being honest about their struggles? Is it so bad to be honest about the truths in life. We all struggle with some sort of a demon. I am not the only one. We all face issues and yet we rarely admit to others that we do in fact struggle. If no one ever struggled there would be no need for yellow pages in the phone book offering oodles of services for the “down and out”. Bankruptcy Trustees have pages full of advertisements and yet no one ever seems to go bankrupt, counseling services are offered for several pages and yet no one seems to ever need to unload with a professional. Lawyers for defense, lawyers for divorce.... yet no one needs them right? What about Police, if people were not making wrong choices we wouldn’t need so many on the streets. If you have experienced anything in your life that has been difficult to share with another person I bet my life on it that there have been thousands of others that have experienced it before you. Trust me.

We live in a society that creates judgment upon people, it is a harsh reality. We are known for our “screw ups” before we are recognized for our triumphs. How often have you engaged in a conversation with others about another person without referring to them as “what you heard”? You know Lisa...she is the one who .... It happens all the time. This behaviour tears down our society. It keeps people from telling the truth about their lives when in fact we should be sharing and assisting others with their lives; not keeping them in dark and lonely places.

Facebook has been a wonderful tool for me personally. I have been able to engage with friends I would not have otherwise known how to contact. It has also assisted me with fundraisers as well as launching this blog! But I will say that I have also struggled with facebook and the misconceptions that others portray about themselves. Rumours and gossip fly because of comments made and taken out of context, and let’s not forget the damn status updates. Initially facebook was intended for people to have a way to find one another, now it seems that has reared society’s ugliness. It has become a forum for kids and adults to bully and in some cases used to spy on X’s. I am a facebooker but I will tell you that I struggle with it. The fact that my life seems so shit right now I find myself becoming depressed after seeing updates from my “friends”. The copious updates of pictures from lavish vacations, and all the updates about what a great spouse they have or how wonderful their children are, do people really have that good of a life? I think many that update and shove all the greatness down our throats may in fact be struggling but need to somehow convince themselves that their life is in fact great. Of course we oblige by commenting “oh girl you look great, wow your husband is the best, great pics of your vacation”... Sounds like I am jealous right? But I am not.
(ok kinda sorta) But isn't that the point of sharing all that goodness????

Anyone can throw out whatever image they want about their lives to others. I personally choose to tell the truth about where I am at. There needs to be a balance between reality and what appears to be the truth. Our actions and even our words have a profound and direct impact on others. Unfortunately we use one another to measure where we are, or supposed to be. We control the sticks that determine others success and failures.The statement "keeping up with the Jones'" came from reality. We as a society need to practice better judgement when "sharing" .... Does life suck all the time? No, but it sure can for months at a time. Tell me, is there anything wrong with admitting that? Sure we have all seen the FML status updates, and we may mutter to ourselves what a loser for saying that, truth is many days I think FML!!! I have just not chosen to wear my FML t-shirt out in public that day for the world to see.

So why do I write so personal on my blog? I write this way because it is the truth. I am tired of pretending that shit doesn’t go wrong from time to time. We are adults and should be able to be real on occasion and actually relate to one another on another level. I am having a crap day, and don’t mind hearing from someone else who has walked in my shoes before me and who might actually be able to offer some kind advice..... from “someone who’s been there done that”. Wouldn’t life be easier if people engaged enough with one another as to actually save grief in fighting through the trenches alone and without real direction? I reach out about my life because I have nothing to lose. I can only gain from my honesty. Many readers have reached out to me and thanked me for sharing, so I continue to share. If you read about all my crap and it makes you feel better about your life, good for you! (hahaha). I actually had a conversation with a friend recently who said, "wow and I thought my life was bad". I laughed but thought 1) I just helped that person and 2) I probably will need to hear a homeless crack addict tell me about their life so I will feel better.....ok kidding!

I am not brave for sharing with you about my life; I am brave for living this life and still managing to somehow get out of bed in the morning! Truth.

~Christine~