I have had cancer before but due to its rarity I have not
had “traditional” chemo or radiation so this treatment regime is a new game for
me. The chemo I received when I first arrived in London was not as bad as I
thought it would be, but then I had no idea the side effects would not start to
show for 10 days. … The nurses told me what to expect like it was text book and
sure enough every single thing they advised did happen. The worst part for me
were the mouth sores, holy hell they went all the way down my throat and felt
like to my tummy. And for a foodie like me that was hell. To not be able to eat
or drink was difficult. That lasted almost 10 days. I also did not know the
extent of poking that there would be with all the procedures that needed to be
done. Thank God my mom was there for most when Pat could not be there. I think
the worst was the IT chemo; that is where they put a needle into your spine and
deliver chemo. That ensures that the cancer does not reach the brain. Of course
I was proud of myself that I made it through this procedure without injuring
anyone……. I was quickly defeated when the nurse told me I had 5 more to go. The
second one I had to put a brave face on because my daughter Melissa was present
for that, and of course there is no way I wanted to scare her with me crying.
My mom was also there for it and a bit more observant than my daughter because
she noticed my white knuckles from squeezing my own hands together. 2 down 4 to
go.
Bone marrow biopsy is another procedure that I must have
done several times throughout the treatment. They hurt like a bitch. They
literally tap into your hip bone and unscrew a small piece of your bone. The
first one wasn’t so bad as I was not sure what to expect but the 2nd………
now I await the third next week after I am re admitted for chemo. All I can
tell you is that I tip my hat to any cancer patient who has had to endure this.
The chemo itself has been delivered to me through IV while
being hospitalized. I have not had to go to cancer clinic to have it, so my
stays have been quite lengthy. I laugh when my nurses come into my room with a
protective mask, goggles, and gloves to hook it up and yet I am laying on the
bed in a tshirt, unprotected and allowing the toxin directly into my vein……jeez
talk about being frightened. Despite all of the chemo and the pills and such
the thing that really gets to me is the questioning by the nurses, did you pee,
did you have a bowel movement, how was it, did you eat, how much did you eat,
blah blah I know I know it is for my own good but after a while you feel like
your privacy is invaded. So regardless if I shit or not I say yes and it was so
large I could barely flush the toilet. It would play on your nerves and you
know it. Several times a day the same questions. The staff on the 4th
floor are truly amazing and I feel protected because of their knowledge and compassion
to my situation. It is just difficult to be in a room for 3 months being asked
all kinds of personal questions and having them constantly “pop in”…regardless
of how nice and wonderful they are. I guess
I get bitchy at times and that is why my husband created the candy bowl for my
room. The nurses love the fact that there is a fresh supply of candy and
chocolate bars for them in my room. He also brings them a box of Tim Hortons
coffee on the weekends as the Tim Hortons closes at 4 and my night shift is
without coffee. They love Pat and treat me special because of it. Notice that I
said they treat me special , what I mean by that is that they look past my sarcasm
and bitchiness because of my husband’s gestures.
August 24th I was able to go home after having
been in the hospital since the 12th of June. I was so very excited I
could hardly contain myself. I don’t think I should have left as I was very
sick , in fact while I was being discharged I was throwing up into my cup, but
when the nurse came into my room I pretended I was fine. I just wanted OUT……… I
threw up the whole way home and literally went straight to bed……my bed. I
stayed in bed for 3 days and felt like complete crap but I was so happy to see
my kids my lil dog Sara and finally I was in a different environment which is
exactly what I needed. I was to be home for 2 weeks then start my next round of
chemo BUT I was too sick and had to go back to the hospital and get readmitted.
So back to describing poop and
pretending I love laying bed all day watching TV…
The next round of chemo was a bit harder on me as I lost
more hair, my nails, eyebrows and eyelashes. The mouth sores were not as bad
but my teeth are weak and breaking easily. So in a nutshell I looked like I was
ready for Halloween dressed as Uncle Fester. Somehow I got an infection, fever set
in and I was a wreck. Eventually things settled and chemo was done for the time
being.
The month of June was filled with exciting and wonderful
milestones in our home, in fact each of us had something really big to
celebrate but sadly I was in the hospital and unable to attend or celebrate anything.
I will save all of that for tomorrows post as there is a lot to share and it is
hard for me to retell it without crying, and today it is sunny and I am going
for a car ride to enjoy the fall weather without feeling sad about what I
missed out on. Hope all of you are out and about today enjoying yourselves.
Love ~Christine~
No comments:
Post a Comment