Hello my name is Christine….”Hi Christine".

I found myself on day one of reaching for help, at a group setting type support meeting. The room was filled with women of all ages. I approached the room with apprehension because as you may or may not know I don’t have a problem….it’s everyone else in my life lol. I quickly found a seat at the back of the room to avoid all possibilities of being noticed, called upon or even glanced at. The leader of the session got up to speak about the topic of the week, Communication. She shared her accounts of times in her own life that she had failed the whole communication piece, whether it is through her words, her actions or her body language. I appreciated her recount of her journey to learning better communicative skills, in fact I felt at certain times in her dialogue with us that she was reading from the interior of me. After she spoke she invited any of the women in the room to come to the front and share their thoughts on communication.

My heart raced as I was terrified they would notice the new girl in the room and point at me and force me to share why I was there. I slouched in my chair praying no one would call on me. (That’s not how it works! They encourage you to do so when and  if you want to..)  I watched a woman walk towards the podium…a beautiful aboriginal woman of about 70. Her hard life was etched in her face and hands, her words however were soft and heartfelt.  She arrived at the front picked up the mic and said “hello my name is Liona”… and in unison the entire room said “Hi Liona”…all I could think of…”What the Hell?” I felt embarrassed saying her name..but what I didn’t realize was the power in which you have when an entire room acknowledges you by name. Each and every person in the room is commanded to listen to you, because ….by simply saying their name you are accountable to listen…. Amazing tactic!

Anyways getting back to Liona, she began her sharing by saying “I communicated so much this week I forgot who Liona was”, an understated comment but so profound. She softly spoke of her issues pertaining to communication and what she must deal with in her native community. Her words were simple as were her expressions and body language. I knew her life was hard but she seemed to graciously accept it. She comforted me and yet we never shared one on one. Her voice was soothing and her message was sincere.

Several women got up and spoke, by the time the 5^th woman went to the front of the room I was sitting straight up in my chair, hoping someone would yell, point, or scream at me and make me go to the front of the room! I had so much to say, so much to yell, so much to share…

I did eventually get up to speak, I introduced myself to the group and of course when they responded “Hi Christine”. I knew I had the attention of each of them. I looked out into the crowd and smiled, I began by telling them that “I am so broken that I think I am fixed!” They laughed and I began to speak, at first my words rolled as if I was giving an acceptance speech for some award, but then all of a sudden my eyes welled up with tears, and I stood there in front of close to 50 women and cried. I smiled and left the podium, and went back to my seat. My purpose for this was to ensure that each and every woman in the room knew I was serious about getting help, guidance, and acceptance.  They all owe me something now, I made sure they knew that if this is a support group then I needed support. 

Many ladies approached me after the meeting to exchange phone numbers. Not surprisingly I have had several calls over the last few weeks from several different lovely sincere women.

I am still learning the whole communication piece, but I do know that I cannot do all of this on my own right now. I am not responsible for fixing anybody else, other than myself. I can be of a support but I cannot be it all for another person. I also know that communication is huge, and there are so many things that fail by not doing so. I am finding the right way to communicate my thoughts to others, that will allow me to express my feelings without hurting the people I share them with, and most importantly

Communication changes things….one word at a time.

~Christine~