In January of 2004 I was diagnosed with Type II Diabetes, well actually misdiagnosed with diabetes.... the crazy sugars at that time was actually being caused by the cancer that was not discovered for another 6 months. It was not until after I had an incredible surgery in June of that same year that I actually was left diabetic. Now I am a Type I diabetic and am insulin dependent. I also must take replacement enzymes to help digest my food. During the big cancer surgery I had the distal body and tail of my pancreas removed (along with several other organs) but today I will only focus on the effects of my diabetes. Here in Canada we measure our sugars with ranges of normal being 5-7. Currently my sugars range from 18 (fasting) to 26 or as my favourite meter reads quite frequently HI, which means my sugars are so high I should be hospitalized. This happens quite often, in fact most days my meter reads HI. Since my surgery 7 years ago my diabetes has not been able to be controlled. My body functions well at around 16-18. Anything lower than that I begin having the feeling of low blood sugars.
I feel weak, and begin to shake. I also become extremely emotional. I can laugh hysterically at nothing, become silly or cry at the drop of a hat. Of course I can also go the other extreme and become a crazy lunatic and be so full of rage that I could club someone over the head. (great if they ever find my partner with a smashed head I am a goner!!)lol I have consulted many specialists about my diabetes and to date have failed at getting my sugars to a reasonable level. The effect that diabetes has had on my body has been devastating. I have been battling diabetes for 7 years now and have only experienced normal sugars for less than a week during that entire period.
About a year and a half ago I began noticing my feet were increasingly irritated, itchy and burning and now I have very little feeling left in my feet. The tips of my fingers are now numb, you would think they are numb simply because of the constant picking to test my sugars but it is actually neuropathy setting in. It has now lead to my eyes, hey it’s not because I am 40!lol
I now wear glasses which for me is extremely frustrating because I have always had 20/20 vision. I am diligent at wearing my glasses but still put them on and off my face a zillion times an hour. (I can hear Cathi laughing by my admission to this).
The real issue for me is the fact that I have a very difficult time with food, which has a direct impact on my sugars. Since my whipple procedure I have not been able to digest most foods. Eating healthy is a challenge for me. Salads and most vegetables hate me. In fact once consumed they fight their way out of me with a vengeance, but not before making me look 8 months pregnant. I blow up like a cow after eating such things, and the pain associated with it at times in unbearable. Starchy foods are the only thing I can eat without causing extreme havoc on my body. However it does not compliment my sugar levels in anyway. Dairy products are not able to be digested well either. I used to love drinking milk in fact by the gallon, now a small glass of milk equates to a trip to the ER for pain meds...
The medical community in which I must deal with certainly does not have a great appreciation for what I must deal with. When arriving at the ER for any reason I fear telling them I am a diabetic because of the circus that follows after a reading of my sugar level is taken. My condition is ridiculous and most people don’t understand the complexity of my illnesses. I had my pancreas removed, I have cancer and my diabetes is out of control...My sugars have been high for 7 years and my body has adjusted to this. When a person’s sugars rise to over 20 it is usually call for alarm, as the blood can turn acidic and trigger a wealth of problems including heart attacks. So if my sugar normally sits in the 20’s it almost seems normal to me... I function each and every day this way. A doctor in ER will call the cardiac team down, and ekg, blood gases are taken (needle through the wrist to an artery, and yes it is extremely painful).I appreciate the efforts however when I try to explain why my sugars are so high I am then asked have you tried this, have you tried this....YES!!!! Each and every time I visit a hospital or clinic I go through this.
A couple of months ago my endocrinologist gave me a new type of insulin to trial. It did bring my sugar levels down however too far too fast. Normally if someone has crashing sugars it is very low on the reading, less than 3. I went into full reaction, shaking on the floor, chest pains, vomiting.....etc. My children called an ambulance as I was in desperate need of a doctor. When the EMS team arrived they tested my sugars and received a reading of 4, which in most cases is a good normal healthy reading. My children tried to explain to the EMS team that I was not responding to the glucose they were giving me, and needed the girl to give me a shot of glucose. In the end they refused as protocol is with a normal sugar reading they would be unable to treat me. So even though my situation is not normal and I am in need of special treatment I was unable to receive what my body needed to feel better. An ambulance ride to the hospital was quick as I was having a difficult time breathing. Once I was admitted I had a team of doctors come and see me, they agreed to increase my glucose levels as a family member contacted my physician who in turn called the hospital to inform them of my unique situation. Anyways the team of doctors that came by to see me were not there to treat me nor were they there to discuss my diabetes, they simply came to talk with me about my rare cancer. Again I am told “you realize this is a rare enough cancer, that neither one of us will ever see this in our lifetime as physicians” “Ya...I get that a lot! Would you like to take a picture with me?” What follows is the usual awkward silence...
Eventually they gave me glucose which brought my sugars up to a comfortable 18, and I begin to feel much better.
I dehydrate because of my cancer symptoms, but also because of my diabetes, my mouth is constantly dry and my lips crack and bleed. I do drink a lot of water to compensate but in the end it just makes me pee even more. Night time 6 hour sleep is usually interrupted a minimum of 4 times just to pee. Growing up and as an adult I really never had an appreciation for this disease; I just always assumed it was an old person’s type problem and that it was no big deal. Until I was left diabetic after my surgery and began visiting specialist in this field and meeting patients in the waiting rooms and hearing from others what this disease has done to their lives. I am shocked by the number of men and women that have lost limbs because of complications of diabetes. It scares the crap out of me! I am constantly checking out my feet to make sure there are no signs of anything... The last thing I need is to lose a leg or an arm! Jeeezzz...
It is amazing the effects on my emotional state, I know I mentioned it earlier but it is a huge part of my illness. I never realized it, as often when it is you it’s hard to see until someone points it out. My friends and family will bring it up when they know my sugars are varying. A gentle “hey mom how were your sugars today?” or one of my new favourite “Hey Christine do you want a sandwich or something?” Either question is a reality check for me to know that my sugars are causing me to be over emotional. It is true, I know it, I can tell you that there are times when I know that I am speaking crazy stuff but I can’t stop it. I know crying out of gratitude at the gas station because the guy washed my windows is extreme... and I also know telling the cashier at Zehrs she gets to put all my groceries back after ringing them all through because she spoke rudely to me ..is not good. The truth is I can’t control it. Don’t get me wrong I am not a huge bitch and nor am I disrespectful to others, I just have a hard time going from laughing to crying to raging to laughing again...in one day!
My children love me and understand my illnesses, and are honest with me about how they feel and have the freedom to approach me and ask me what is up. They know that my hormones are out of whack when my sugars are, so they cut me some slack and not take my emotional puddles to heart. I just keep telling them to put money away for therapy later, as I am sure they will need it. My mother this and my mother that...hahahaha
~Christine~
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