What Every Woman Should Have…

With age comes wisdom. Life has taught me many lessons that I wish I would have learned in a less harsh way. When I look back upon my life thus far; I know that in many ways I was never quite prepared for the role of Mother/ Wife or even Friend for that matter.  My best friend Patsy is always telling me that my biggest character flaw is my lack of filtering skills. Not the verbal filtering that you would think I may need (lol) but rather the type that allows for what I let in to my life and what I shouldn’t. 

I sit and wonder sometimes if what I have learned could be translated into words that would serve as good advice to my daughters. I recognize that we all must find our own way as we learn so much about ourselves when we journey through life…but what if I could make their journey a bit easier and less painful by sharing a few things I was “taught” along the way. I am referring to being a woman. As a woman; separate from being a wife or mother/daughter/sister….. I am talking about needs outside of responsibility. Once we get into the role of what life expects from us as women it becomes difficult to invest the time in ourselves and in many cases we lose touch with what are needs are. As an individual inside of a group of people in a household that is relied upon for so many tasks it is burdensome to find the time to sit down and reflect on who we are as women and what it is that we want.

I started to think about all the things that make me who I am and wondered about the things I wish I had in my life. The  “who is Christine?" Kind of moment. I also wondered what tools or skills have gotten me to where I am today. Sort of like the contents of my purse in comparison. The items you would never dream of leaving home without. For each of my thoughts I was able to pin point where I had picked up on the knowledge of how to handle a situation/event and more so, was able to recount the woman that I learned it from.  I also reflected on all of the situations that hurt me as a woman and hardened me; those situations actually needed to happen. Life is not about getting everything right all of the time. Lessons learned only shape and mold us a woman. 

The role of a woman is huge. In most cases we are the sole nurturers and care givers to our children and later in life to our parents. We are the driving forces in each family to keep our families connected and vital. We spend the majority of our lives serving to the needs of our children and our spouses. We are the glue in life. We fix everything. The weight on our shoulders is a heavy load; we carry that for most of our lives.  I don’t think we ever think about what we do, we just do it. The complicated messes that we find ourselves in or our friends in are just part of what we do; at the drop of a hat we are in the ring to fight and conquer the beast at hand. We run on demand. We hold our children so close to us that “their hurts” feel like our own; which causes us to go from sweet little mothers to instant ninja warriors that could kick ass like an army of 10 men when it comes to defending our kids. Make no mistake about that!

We end most of our days completely exhausted because of the fact that there is just always one more thing to do before bed; usually nothing for us. Dishes, housework, laundry , school projects, rides….blah blah blah….. we just do it. When we wake up in the morning it starts all over again. We lose ourselves very easily in what we do for everyone else. Although it sounds overwhelming and not something you would ever knowingly sign up for; it is the greatest thing in life. I personally would never change a thing about my life and all the crazy expectations and pressures that I have on me every single day.

So having said that……..Here are a few things I have learned 

What Every Woman Should Have:

1) A STRONG sense of who you are- knowing yourself allows for you to be clear in how you present yourself to others.

2) BOUNDARIES- set your boundaries for yourself so that you know and others know what lines can NEVER be crossed.

3) A VOICE- speak up and out (respectfully of course lol) NEVER be afraid to tell others how you feel; especially when trying to deliver a message of what you need.... or when someone else has an adverse effect on you. Always tell another person how they positively influence you as well.

4) SELF LOVE- the never ending battle to achieve this…oh boy! Love absolutely everything about yourself, from your body to your morals and beliefs. You will never find another living soul who will ever truly love you until you love yourself. Love yourself enough to change the things you need to be happier and content in your own life

5) SELF RESPECT- you should never be put in a situation or put yourself into a situation that causes you to go against your very grain. Respect is a huge thing! A man will never respect you if you don’t respect yourself. Knowing what is best for you and not compromising or wavering from that is; self-respect and is  also self-love.

6) Know what you are willing to do for love- without losing yourself in the idea of being with “the one”

7) A childhood that you remember for all the good things that happened to you, and a shelf in the back of our mind where you can place all the hardships.

8) A past that is “juicy & thrilling” that you will wait until you are an old fart to confess to…….

9) Money- hide some …..you just never know

10) When to try harder and know when to set the ship a sail….throw in the towel and walk away

11) Learn how to ask for something in a way you know that you will get it….

12) HOW TO LIVE ALONE!!- being with someone for all the wrong reasons. “I would rather be alone for all the right reasons then together for all of the wrong ones.”

13) Be a serial dater…. Take a little from each man and build in your mind the perfect man….then go looking for him.

14) Every woman should have at least 2 EX’s that stand out. 1) the one who you find yourself thinking of ....2) the one the reminds you that you have come a long way.....

15) A great black dress, a sexy bra and great panties….you just never know! (and for Kimmy....a closet full of hot ass shoes)

16) A best friend – that lets you laugh. A best friend- that lets you cry. A  best friend- that will drive the getaway car. AND BE A BEST FRIEND!

17) An escape plan- sometimes you just need to get out and get out fast………

18) Trip- you have to take at least one trip in your lifetime, somewhere you have always dreamed of going

19) Knowing that life has no RE-DO buttons…..but also knowing there IS a RE-DON’T button

20) Have Goals- Reach them! Find people to support you…. Time is going to pass anyways, so do it....reach them

21) Don’t be a "That "Woman- you know the one I mean, the hater, the judger. Be nice. Every other woman on this planet deserves to feel beautiful and get what she wants; don’t stand in her way by tearing her down.

22) Be a role model- if not only to your daughters/nieces …to the boys in your life as well. If you are a mother teach your son “how” to be the perfect man…PLEASE ladies.

23) Thankful- always, always have gratitude. Be thankful for the blessings in your life, and be smart enough to know what they are.

24) Have HOPE & FAITH- hope is the key in life…. 

“Faith goes up the stairs that love has built and looks out the windows which hope has opened.”

                           ― Charles H. Spurgeon

25) A LIFE- this is my favourite one. To have a life that you have always wanted/dreamed of or wished for. You can have it. It takes planning and hard work to achieve it, but if you have all of the other things I listed ( & add your own….) you can have the life others envy- or the life you inspire others to have.

25.b) GREAT sex- and LOTS of it! Sorry I HAD to throw that in there…. It is true.

I could probably add another 100 items to the list.... hahaha

Have a great day Ladies

~Christine~

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