Option 1, or Option 1

Before I write about my actual appointment yesterday, let me first tell you how much I enjoyed the company of my folks and Pat. Even though we were on a “road trip” to a Hospital we shared a lot of fantastic moments of laughter.  Sincere thoughts were exchanged often regarding my life and the decisions that were to be made. I am so blessed to be able to connect on such a higher level with them. I know that I could not face this without each of them.

 Also I want to share with you my discovery of a beautiful little white feather on the floor beside my seat in the waiting room at Western Hospital. I was deep in thought of what I would ask the surgeon and of course what he was going to tell me, and as I looked down…there it was. For those of you who don’t know the relevance to that… My beautiful Peg; a dear friend that I lost to cancer told me that when a person is struggling a guardian angel or someone you loved dearly that has passed will leave a white feather near you to show you that you are not alone. She promised me that she would do this for me. It has been 9 years since she has been gone; I find feathers all the time and usually when I am about to face something huge. I was beside myself to know that once again she was with me. 

On with the meeting….. We viewed the CT scan images and talked about the largest tumour on my liver. Now anyone that is familiar with this type of cancer knows that tumours of this nature can take several years to grow and often are not discovered until symptoms are dire, and the symptoms are in many cases misdiagnosed as other medical conditions. We also know that some of the tumours can also grow or increase in size very quickly; in my case it has grown and actually doubled in size in a very short period of time. My original pancreatic tumour was in 2004 and was quite large and aggressive. The metastasis to my liver has been relevant for many years but as of late my symptoms are becoming severe, hence the need for surgery.

The options that we discussed today were limited to 2. Now I was expecting to hear that in fact I had 2 options and that is why I have been so stressed the past 2 weeks. Clearly not knowing what they were was scaring the hell out of me. In all actuality the only option is surgery; as the second option is  to ultimately let nature takes its’ course….  Which pretty much means in no uncertain terms surgery is inevitable.

We discussed at great lengths the possibilities of complications and all of the risk factors that I face considering I have diabetes and a heart issues.   

The tumour that must come out is located in the top section of the right lobe. It is near the surface but at the back of the liver. The surgeon explained that because of previous abdominal surgery and scar tissue/clips in my chest, he would  make an incision below the right side of my rib cage along to the back and if need be he would also make an incision to the left of my rib cage. He will need to lift my rib cage to a highly inclined position to access the liver itself; if all goes well it be a 6 hour surgery. He told us that I will most likely require blood transfusions for the first few days. I will be hospitalized for a minimum of 7-10 assuming I do not have any complications. Then I will require a good 6-8 weeks to recover.

(upper left side of pic...is the largest tumour, Damn my insides are good looking ...) 

Now, he told us to not expect a cure. Bottom line is that my cancer will come back 100 % and may even grow back right where they remove the tumour, and because of the nature of these types of tumour it can show up somewhere else. I will need to once again have scans every 3 months after surgery to monitor this possibility. This surgery sadly will not cure me; BUT it will give me more time so I am happy about that. I just have to wrap my head around the procedure, hospital stay and the recovery aspect of it. I am confident that considering he is a transplant surgeon my tumour removal will be a walk in the park for him.  Btw , my Dad asked him if he wouldn’t mind putting his hand out in front of his chest  so that he could see how still and steady his hand was…. Of course I laughed and so did Dad but the Doctor, the resident Doctor, My Mom and Pat just looked at us as though we were screwed in the head! Whatever it WAS funny.  

 (Here he is; my adorable surgeon, who was not so impressed that I asked him for a picture ...hehehe)

You know me……. what is your current address? “Liverpool” , who is your next of kin my “Liver Boy Pat”, and food allergies? “Liver”.  Oh fudge I crack myself up. Yes I know we are immature but what should I do? Cry? Scream? Exactly…….besides I heard you laugh just now after reading that  :)

I am required to do a few small things to prepare my body for this and will have my surgery date soon. When I left there I was told that I should be prepared and ready to go within the next 3-5 weeks. This to me is fantastic as I now know what they will do and how they will do it. Now I will be allowed the time I need to properly prepare my house and my girls for when I am away.  I hope you enjoyed the pic of my beautiful liver!

~Christine~

 Just hoping to play Doctor when I get home