Sharing, not just for kids....

One of the very first lessons we learn as a child is to share. Be it our toys,a snack or playtime we were taught to do it at a very early age. It is one of the most profound items of humanity we could ever instil in a child. I venture to say that this lesson of moral value should continue to be emphasized throughout a person’s entire life and continue to enhance this to include verbal sharing and listening.

The meaning of the word share- A part or portion belonging to, distributed to, contributed by, or owed by a person or group. This definition does not mention material goods but rather refers to the aspect of “sharing or giving” what we may have.Time, compassion and a willingness to be bring peace to another person are also things that can in fact be "shared". Oh and don't forget the importance of sharing your diet coke or bacon with someone else on occasion

(cough cough)..

Sharing to me is probably something that describes my very being. If I have it I will give it to you; whether it is an actual item you need or if it is a service of some sort. Truly my “bestest” and most favourite part of sharing….. My thoughts and hearing the thoughts of others. I could not live without this attribute.  When I post here on my blog or send messages to others it is not because I have vanity or arrogance for my opinions or hell even for my writing ability (or inabilities) I just love to do it. The feedback that I receive is amazing and it makes me feel so blessed to know that others reach out to me to share what they have gone through as well. A man from The United States wrote me and said "I felt like your blog was an opened door that allowed me to approach you about something that was plaguing me, your honesty about your vulnerabilities told me it was OK to share".Here is why and what I believe to be true. 

There is not one situation or event that has occurred in my life time that has not already occurred at least 100 times and to 100 people before I experienced it; maybe even 1000’s. Therefore I am never truly alone with what I face or encounter.  I also know that hardships come in many different facets in life. Family issues, financial issues, divorce, illness, depression, grief or any other aspect that causes one to have despair are just a part of life. Of course when we are younger we are “less wise” so our problems or stressful times are met with a mindset that keeps us believing that we are alone. As we mature and are exposed to all that life has to offer we only then realize that are problems are only too common.

The success of comedians lies in the fact that we all laugh at the similar connections when joking about the “family” aspects of dysfunction. We all have that uncle or that cousin or sibling. We all know it’s true and that is why we laugh. We connect and sometimes even feel like before they prepared their routine for the show that they may have had hidden cameras in your home. Psychic readings are no different, they start you off with a family member who died and bring up your past hurts (never really saying what they are), and financial issues….you get the picture. Why? Because we are all no different!! We all have problems and we all have similar issues.  

The difference in how we deal with stress or problems is definitely defined by how we grew up and what were our family rules so to speak,  regarding communication. I know that a lot of families including my own (sorry mom :)~~~~) have this hush hush approach to trauma or “issues”. I guess the fear is that if people know your problems or issues they will judge you. I used to believe this or was brainwashed to believe that we should not speak about what hurts us to others. There is no shame or humility in admitting that we have problems, or concerns. I, for the life of me cannot understand why we would want to suffer at it alone? No one person or family is perfect, and even if you have that notion and believe that no one sees your problems......they do.  

It is only through the process of sharing that we learn 1) how common our problem is 2) learn how others have dealt with similar circumstances and BINGO 3) GET HELP, guidance, advice etc etc. There is no shame in sharing, and healing or helping to heal others.

Sure, there are particular situations that happen to us that we may not be running around yelling from the bus stop about, but within the right framework of a group setting or even on a one on one conversation it could be a tremendous benefit for you. It is cathartic to release the inner thoughts and pains that we have. It is also a rewarding experience to know that your words of past experiences may in fact help another individual with their own demons.Or keep someone from walking down a path that you have already been on. Any support group you attend whether you are the speaker or the “hearer” it always starts off with another person’s struggle and how they have worked to overcome it or is in the process of overcoming it. I understand the fear behind confiding your darkest deepest secrets to another person and the level of vulnerability that goes with divulging your poo poo. 

(sorry, if you can smell that..)

 

I have also learned that sharing with others isn’t always about talking or trying to make connections with the people you are conversing with. I know that sometimes the very best way to share is to simply listen.  This is a hard concept for some to understand as I have had many conversations with individuals that try to interject at every opportunity to “connect” or “identify” by constantly agreeing with me, or chomp at the bit to interrupt to share like stories… so sometimes NOT talking is simply the best.

I am a Christian woman and have strong faith about what our role on earth is. I will tell you that I do not attend church on a regular basis but that does not mean that I am not in touch with what is expected of me. (had to admit that because my mom reads my blogs and is always telling me "GO TO CHURCH!") I try to live my life the best that I can with the skills and tools that were given to me and that I have acquired throughout my 43 years. Life has been tough for me and at times I feel like I deserve more than I have but somehow I am humbled quickly when I open my eyes to what others face as well. I am aware of the struggles others have and it truly cripples me when I know of another person who is experiencing hard times. I can relate and remember the blessings that I have had when others have unselfishly given me their support. So I try to recall how good I felt when someone was there for me and try to extend when and where I can to give another that same feeling I got to enjoy.I have been very fortunate as I have had many individuals help me. That gratitude reminds to be there for another person who finds themselves in a position I once was. That is what IS expected of us; as Christians and well has human beings as a whole. 

I also believe that turning a blind eye to the plights of others is a sin. I am not suggesting that you give to everyone or go beyond your means to be of assistance but we must try in some way. I know that as a society we are compassionate as we see and hear of wonderful stories of people who have “paid it forward” or have gone above and beyond for others. Viral videos on facebook and youtube are not a surprise to me as I know we are lacking in “feel goods”. We are desperate for good news and need to be reminded on a regular basis how to be good.  I know that each of us has the ability to touch others and sometimes we just need to be asked or shown how to. We remember as children we were taught to share and we did it; it made us feel good and that is why we continued to do it. As adults we just need to recall that lesson and aim to achieve that same level of sharing. 

Ok time to wrap it up Christine….. my entries are getting longer and longer (lol)… Sorry I just have so much to say on this topic. So come on people remember to share! Share your blessings, share your hardships, but most importantly share your compassion and all your goodness with others; I promise it is contagious.

~Christine~