The Spirit of Christmas….

We all know that the Holiday Season is to celebrate the birth of Christ, with this in mind we are to reflect upon our Lord. How do we accomplish this? Many of us gather with our families and feast on copious amounts of food and deserts, and typically follow through with spoiling our children with a ridiculous amount of gifts from not only us as parents but from good ole Saint Nick as well. We also spend money on gifts for our bosses fellow colleagues and neighbours. How many of the gifts that we buy for others are out of obligation to appease the “correct political” pressure? So how do we stay true to our faith while gorging on holiday gifts, alcohol and feel good snacks and treats?

I struggle with the concept of Christmas. I every year look forward to setting up my lights and decorating my tree, and even spending the holiday season with family and good friends. My oldest daughter in particular prepares for Christmas starting the day after Halloween by watching her favourite Christmas movie Elf, every single day non stop. Christmas Eve is usually spent with my side of the family, then back at our house to open a gift before bed….. We used to go to Midnight Mass, then it became every other year and now…..

Last year Ashley who by no fault of her own is a Christmas nut, told me Christmas morning she felt depressed. Christmas was finally here and now done. It was over; the hype the pressure the excitement gone. I wondered how this could be possible since we still had plenty of visiting to do and celebrations right through until New Years. I thought long and hard about the comments she made. I realized that she in her own way was telling me that it was the Christmas spirit she lost. The true meaning of Christmas. Not the gifts, the eating, the visiting but the real meaning of humanity at Christmas time.

Christmas for many people is a very depressing time of year perhaps family issues, loneliness and of course poverty could very well be contributing factors. The idea of not being able to buy someone you love a gift or provide a meal…is heart breaking. We all shop and notice the Salvation Army donation pots; we see the toy drives in every store. We hear at church, at school and on TV that we need to donate to the less fortunate. Many of us drop our loonies and toonies in the pot and feel quite noble for doing so and yet still many families feel the hard ship at Christmas. The very pride that men and women experience watching their children open gifts on Christmas morning is robbed when they are not able to provide a lavish Christmas. Children that still believe in Santa wonder if they were bad and not deserving of a gift from him.

It is my belief that each one of us is responsible as adults to ensure that Santa is real. Not just real for our own children but for all children. That is to say that Christ lives through us especially during the Christmas holidays. It is our responsibility to serve our communities. The cliché statement it takes a village to raise a child holds true at this time of year. Even though we should be donating to our food banks through out the year, but at Christmas is when we should give the most. This is the time of year when the haves and have nots stand out the most. Educators will tell you that after Christmas they hear directly from the kids about what they did and received during the holidays, and for many there is an embarrassment in sharing.

Here in Windsor the soup kitchen may close because there is not enough money to support it. The wait lists for Christmas hampers over 3000 families in need. Before you think of your negative thoughts of people on welfare, and what have you…..just stop for a moment and think about the kids in those households…. Then think of your children.. I am not in any way trying to guilt any one. I am just being real. I have three teenage daughters that have every damn bell and whistle that money can buy, and I am guilty of making sure they have what they want more than what they need.

So my challenge to you this year is this, instead of buying your boss a bottle of wine or buying your colleagues’ small gifts or adult family members a gift this year. Instead buy a gift for a child, and when exchanging gifts with family or friends or secret Santa at work, write in their card Boy aged 12, one gift under the tree. If they are offended by this gift, they didn’t deserve one to begin with. You and I and every other adult I know will survive without getting a damn pair or socks or a Tim Horton’s Gift card. I am certain of it. Last year I worked every single day the month of December filling hampers and wrapping gifts, I also delivered hampers to homes that I would not wish my worst enemy to have to live in. I was and still continue to be humbled by the tears that I met at the doors of the recipients’ of our gestures. To see a man cry is life changing.

The real meaning of Christmas is Christ, what ever your faith is, Christ is who we are and choose to be. I am hoping that you will do something in the spirit of Christmas this year. It does not take much to make a child smile; you know this as you have children yourself. Find a church or an organization that you can drop off an unwrapped gift or book and know that you are personally keeping the spirit of Christmas alive.  The Salvation Army on Walker Road in Windsor would love to accept your donation.

Merry Christmas
~Christine~

Brian Peter..........

Brian is my oldest nephew born in the summer I entered grade 6. I was a mere 12 years old when I was given the privilege of being called Aunt. Brain Peters …Auntie Chrissy.

When Brian was born he had a wealth of complications from the onset, in fact after only being one day old he was sent to The Children's Hospital in London Ontario. I remember the first time I saw him and held his little hand; he had a multitude of tubes and wires protruding out of his little body. Brian along with other diagnoses (which came years later) was born blind. The problem with his eyes basically is that one never developed bigger than the size of a pea, and the other larger than it should have been. Eventually he had the eye removed. Being 12 and becoming an aunt was incredible, and truth be told I also thought it was pretty cool that I had a nephew that was blind. I never looked at it as a handicap but rather a statement.

Brian was very special to my family, he especially loved coming over to my folks house. Where he would find himself being fought over, by my mom who would call him her little Stevie ( after Stevie Wonder) he had the same mad swag of a head shake.LOL , my dad would fight to bath him as Brian loved not only his Pepe but he loves the water…understatement when I say love! The poodle we had at the time Shona, even she would be all over him constantly licking the palms of his hands, which Brian would love to hold his hands out and have her in his control for as long as he wanted. Then there was me… I would race to dress him in cool clothes, put him in his wagon and run the streets of Tecumseh with Brian in tote. First stop was always Gus’s store.. Mrs. Howling would yell hey its Grandma Howling and give him cheesies or his favourite treat; Neapolitan soft taffy, 

He was the happiest little camper ever. As he got older his development slowed and Brian became the focus of many support groups and programs. When school was to start, the decision to send him to William Ross McDonald School in Brantford was a taxing feat for my sister and her husband. Brian was to live there and travel home by train each and every weekend. Years and years of this for him…... now that he is almost 30 and living in a Community Living Home I see that those years away were probably harder on him then all of us. I often feel sorry for my sister in particular to have had to take her son every weekend to a train station and watch him leave. I myself cry just thinking about the few times I experienced watching him board. 

When he completed his schooling he moved in full time with my sister and his younger brother Chris. They suffered a great deal having Brian there, but so did Brian. He does not have the ability to express himself through words, so he would express himself through his hands…..enough said. Now he lives in his own home with Community Living and has 24 hour care. He is flourishing!!!! The King is what everyone calls him. 

I have been living away from home for almost 20 years and I have missed out on a lot of wonderful moments with so many people. Brian Peter being one. So since moving back to Tecumseh I have made it my mission to reconnect or connect with him. He visits my sisters home on Sundays. I go there every Sunday to see him; I also bring him a Kit Kat Bar each time. He enjoys me …no he enjoys the chocolate bar! Hahah I walk in and he calls me Auntie Kit Kat, not Auntie Chrissy. He usually does not like anyone to touch him or kiss him or God forbid touch his head, but he lets me kiss his forehead every time I see him, of course he quickly wipes his head as my lips leave his forehead. I recently discovered that he asks for me, a lot. In fact he gets anxious if he thinks I am not coming to visit him on his weekly home visits. To be honest with you, It takes my breath away thinking he loves me that much.

I have not really been a part of his life on a regular basis since he was a very small child. I was a teenager when he was small and my worries then …..social life …just high school. Then he went away to school, and in the meantime I got married, moved away and had children. I just don’t know how this beautiful man could love me so much. I can’t drive fast enough when I know I am going to see him, I feel my chest flutter with excitement. Some times when I visit with him he shows no response, like he just couldn’t give two shits that I am there and other times he gut laughs with me.. But each and every time I leave him I feel blessed, happy, and ecstatic actually. All I can think of ….”He let me kiss his forehead” ….

Last week I went to his house to visit, I brought him a McDonald’s kid’s meal and we ate lunch together. After lunch he resided in his big brown leather recliner and I sat on a little chair beside him. I put up my video camera and taped our visit…at one point I asked him when he goes with his staff for van rides to Tim Hortons…”What do you order?” He responded by saying “chocolate milk and double chocolate Aunt Chrissy” instead of double chocolate donut. I began to laugh, then gut laugh, then wheeze laugh…. His response took me by complete surprise. If that wasn’t enough he began to laugh just as hard as me, in fact he was throwing his head back and leaning over the side of his chair hysterically laughing. The best part of all of this? My video camera was on, and I got it all on tape!!! 

My visit went well. This past Sunday I did my weekly ritual of dropping off his Kit Kat bar, for some reason our visit was different. While sitting across from him I felt a connection, weird vibe to explain but I just felt a spiritual calmness and connection with him. When I got ready to leave I asked to kiss him on the forehead and he agreed, but for some strange reason I decided to reach right in and tickle him …under his arms and his belly. Ummmmm Brian HATES to be touched.. and I not only touched him but tickled him. The tension in the room….. my sister and her husband both leaned forward on their chairs in surprise that I would do that to their 200lb almost 6 foot tall son that hates to be touched. Instantly Brian laughed, in fact he gut laughed.

I don’t know what came over me but… I felt an incredible surge of positive energy from him. It was amazing. Even though he is almost 30 years old I see him as little Brian. I believe our relationship has picked up right where he and I left it. Me as a teenager and he as a small boy! His staff invited me to go Mall walking with him, and to have New York Fries with him. So today I will be spending my afternoon with Brian. I called his house last night to confirm with his staff that we would still be venturing out. One of his workers answered the phone and confirmed our outing. I asked to speak to Brian, which she proceeded to put the phone on speaker so that Brian and I could communicate. Brian yelled “Hi Auntie Chrissy”. I asked him if it was ok for me to come mall walking with him, there was silence then a burst of laughter which was then followed with a 1 sleep reference and an I love you Auntie Chrissy. He then abruptly told me Good Bye, (he hates talking on the phone haha). So I am off today to mall walk, eat French fries with gravy and be in the presence of a man that truly loves me. Brian Peter actually heals me. To have the trust of Brian is an incredible feat. He is gentle, kind, and loving and I am truly blessed, no…… honoured to be a part of his life.
~Christine~

Pic of Brian and I During One of Our Visits