On June 11th of this year I was feeling a bit
under the weather so I decided to take a nap. I ended up sleeping through the
day and into the night. The next day I could barely lift my head out of pure exhaustion.
I thought for sure I was coming down with the flu and thought nothing of it.
Things took a turn for the worse that evening as I began to vomit blood. I also
had no idea where I was. My husband tried to get me to stand up so he could
rush me to the hospital but sadly I could not stand. All I can clearly recall
on my own was that Pat was carrying me to the car and then waking up in the
emergency department. When I looked up I saw my parents standing beside my bed.
I had no idea why they were there, but according to my mom I had called them.
It turns out that I called a lot of people during the wee hours of the night
and it was a blessing to have them there; the ER doctor delivered the news
Acute Leukemia. I heard him but I didn’t register the diagnosis. I just knew it
was bad as the doctor said the words I watched my father’s face squint like
someone had bold face punched him, I could and still can feel the delivery of
it. The next thing I knew I was having a bone marrow biopsy and discussing with
the ER docs how they would get me to London. At one point I was going to be air
lifted but ended up going by ambulance. (Did I mention this was Friday the 13th,
only me! )lol
The team of oncologists were anticipating my arrival as I
entered my isolation room they were already on hand with what would end up
being my first round of chemo. One of
the nurses told me that “tonight you are fighting for your life”…. And I
was. By this time I was bleeding out… my
arms were so bruised that the blood was seeping out of my skin, my fingertips
looked like someone dipped them in blue paint. Even though I knew I was in
London surrounded by family and friends (who btw drove to London) I really
didn’t know where I was or what was happening to me. At one point I recall
counting the IV bags that were hanging on 2 IV pumps, 18 in total. I was given
several transfusions throughout the night, blood, plasma and platelets, along
with several medications and of course the non- stop chemo.
The doctors told us that with acute leukemia the cells
multiply within 4-6 hours of initial onset, whereas for example a breast cancer
can take 3-4 months for the same result. It is key to have chemo within 24
hours of diagnosis for best chance of survival. That is why I went to London,
as they were prepared to handle the administration of the chemo within that
time frame. 23 hours from onset I had my chemo; talk about cutting it close. I
am so very thankful that my ambulance driver had a lead foot! Haha. The nurse
that they sent with me for my trip was amazing; she kept me comforted the
entire trip. The only thing I can’t figure out is how my husband got to London and
was waiting for me at least 20 minutes before the ambulance and I arrived;
apparently he drove fast down the 401……We will call him Nascar Pat from now on.
Once I became a bit more stable they decided to transfer me
back to Windsor to finish my treatments. Day 12 I was sent by ambulance to Met
Hospital to the Cancer Floor. The isolation rooms are amazing! The nursing
staff is second to none. I remained there for 26 days before I was released to
go home for a break before the next round of chemo. During this time I was
visited by many and had several individuals call, text and email me. I feel bad
knowing that I did not respond to many of the out reaches but to be completely
honest with you; I was exhausted and stressed about my condition. I had just 12
weeks before this episode underwent liver surgery to remove the right side as
there was a neuroendocrine tumour. That surgery btw left me cancer free……for
the first time in 10 years. Now that I got leukemia I felt deflated and well,
many other emotions ran through me. I never had a pity party or questioned why
this was happening to me …..but when you are throwing up, feeling dizzy, having
extreme diarrhea it is hard to have the energy for visitors. I also lost my
hair very quickly, so here I am 96lbs bald and oozing from every hole……who
would have wanted to witness that anyways?
One person in particular did; Patrick. He never left my
side. Even when he had to go back to work, I could count on the fact that he
would breeze into my room tea in hand for me followed by a kiss and a “you look
beautiful today”…..each and every day. He heals me with his presence. It is
amazing to be able to reach that time in your relationship when you are tested
in the areas that matter so much…in sickness and in health, for us apparently it
is both. I will continue with more of
the journey tomorrow, I want to end on that note since I seem to be happy and
smiling just thinking about Pat and I at the hospital and how the 2 of us
managed to find humour in all that was happening to me.
Btw- the expression life is too short, well if I was healthy
and had the energy to do something I would in a heartbeat. There are so many
things we take for granted each and every day. It is a privilege to be healthy
and able bodied. Please do something that makes you happy or gives you peace,
it is fall and the weekend looks like it will be beautiful so ……..oh and if you
happen to see a goose or hear one wave at it for me. Love all of you and thank
you for reading my blogs.
~Christine~
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