I started off my day (yesterday)with a trip to the Cancer Clinic, this is my first official appointment since switching my primary care oncologists to my new location. I was impressed with the professionalism and excitement that not only the receptionist showed but also the volunteers. My sister was present with me today for this appointment. The two of us were whisked away to a room with a counselor where he quickly informed us of the services available to not only patients but family members; you know the whole talk about the cancer thing…. I have been through this many times so I was less enthused than Deb. This was her first experience being a care giver. I happened to sit next to “Roy” and listened to him gently skirt around the whole issue of feeling scared and what have you about cancer… I looked at Deb and noticed her intently staring at him and when I looked to my left I noticed a stack of funeral home brochures. I couldn’t help it laugh; in fact I could not contain myself. The poor counselor must think I am in denial. He had no idea why I was laughing. I just thought it was ironically humourous to have a patient being welcomed into a treatment facility and the room had these pamphlets. Anyways it WAS funny. If my sister had already been through this type of meeting, I would have said “so Roy can you tell me about these services” while holding a families first brochure in my hand. Of course just to see his face…I know not nice but very funny.
So after that we were brought up to the waiting room where all the patients and families wait to see their designated oncologists. There are tv’s on and comfortable chairs to relax on. There are lovely tables set up with coffee, tea, juice and cookies for the taking. This is provided by the cancer society. While Deb and I were waiting for my nurse to call upon me, this little lady wearing a cancer society yellow volunteer smock came over to talk to us. She bragged about the facility to us and explained the services offered throughout the clinic. She was annoyingly friendly and happy. I know she meant well, but oh my word… then 5 minutes later she came back to us to let us know about where the bathrooms were located, as she realized she hadn’t yet told us. We thanked her and she moved on, well until she hit the hallway and spun around to head directly back to us. Deb and I were looking at some pics on my camera. “oh can I take a picture of you ladies for you?” sure I said cause Lord knows everyone wants a pic in the waiting room of a cancer clinic. She nervously stood with my camera trying to get a good angle to take the pic, which of course threw Deb and I into a convulsion type laughter. To the point where she then felt insecure and actually asked us if she was being laughed at. Which of course made us laugh harder, at that point I was glad she showed us where the bathroom was, as Deb was pissing her pants. Good thing I wear diapers!
After she returned from the bathroom the little 4 foot volunteer scary clown wanna be smiled at us and walked by. Yet again to see if we wanted or needed anything. I responded “nope not in the last 5 minutes, since you asked then”. Over kill! I sort of felt bad as she wanted to tell us her life story and why she was a volunteer there. To be honest with you, I didn’t really care. She even told us there was something special about the 2 of us…. Ok? We have been there for 15 minutes and we were special? I wondered if she was trying to imagine herself in my skin..creepy!
The nurse called my name and we proceeded to meet in the examining room. Nurse Pam was a riot, well maybe it’s me and I force it out of people. I answered all the medical questions, concerns, blah blah. I was instructed to undress which prompted thoughts of oh shit did I shave my legs and arms? You know the kind of things I am saying!! I then asked her if the oncologist that I was meeting with was worth asking for a breast exam. She laughed and said “honey leave the bra on trust me.” which was a slight disappointment as, let’s face it how often do we get a chance in life to be felt up by a good looking doctor? Anyways
Dr.” “ came into the room and we spoke about the journey I had been on with this cancer. He examined me and then asked me to sit up so that we could engage in a real conversation about my situation. He started off by saying I know nothing about your cancer, in fact you probably know more than me. I should have been scared and ran out of the room, but I felt comforted by his honesty. He then proceeded to say but I do know where you can go for treatment. Which is the whole Switzerland piece; we discussed the trip there and the treatment. He flat out told me that this is my only option, as this is the only place in the world performing this treatment. He also told me that I was way too young to give up. He is absolutely right, I am way too young and good looking to give up. Ok I threw that in for fun, but it is exactly the truth I am way too young. He ordered a pile of blood work, 2 scans, a urine collection/ stool collection test. Oh and a biopsy on my liver. I have had a biopsy done while awake and they are extremely uncomfortable and painful. The biopsy is done in conjunction with a CT scan, the technologists will draw a grid slightly below my breasts, and with the guidance of the CT scan technician, the needle then gets inserted. The long tube that is placed into my body has a small device at the end that allows for the tissue to be extracted. It then is pulled back up through the tube/needle that was inserted. Voila a biopsy is done. They do freeze you, but it freezes as it travels through you. I mean it is not the worst thing to go through but it is definitely something I can milk for a day or two after!
Within 2 weeks from yesterday I will have the exact date that I will be going to Switzerland as well as the costs to do so. It is a lengthy process but they are making the arrangements in incredible speed, compared to how medical appointments/arrangements are usually made. I am blessed for this. I feel very excited about this new treatment as I believe it will cure me. I have to believe that. So I will choose to. :)
As Deb and I walked out of our meeting with the oncologist the crazy volunteer lady showed up at the front desk. “hey ladies, how did it go?” I ignored her, I mean she is small enough that I could have kicked her under the counter where she would have fit perfectly… but I didn’t. The nurse handed me my blood requisition forms and I was off to the lab. “oh wait I know where the lab is let me take you there!” you are kidding me right? My sister says “oh shit Jim’s going to kill me, I left milk out for the cat next door and forgot to bring in the dish.” I looked at her like wtf? She then says you know once you feed a cat it keeps coming back. She was making up the cat story to insinuate the volunteer woman was the same. We never spoke to her on the elevator and ignored her while we went to the lab. I sat patiently waiting for my turn. After only 30 minutes they called me in to take ½ of my blood from my body! As I walked out of the lab, sure as hell there she was again sitting with my sister waiting for me to get out from the lab. She was waiting for us to tell us that the cancer clinic has wigs and scarves and that if I wanted to try some on I could, and that she would take us there.
At this point I thought for sure she was a mental health patient that escaped and was wearing a volunteer smock to hide. It was intensely funny, and creepy. My sister and I behaved like inappropriate children. We laughed at her right in front of her. But it was ridiculous to be honest. She wanted to ask why I was there and what kind cancer I had, but I had no interest in telling her. She told us “wait here I have something for you” we agreed and as she walked away we ran laughing out the exit. We could not get away fast enough.
I am pleased with the cancer clinic and their services. I am also pleased that they are working with me to get treatment, even though it is not in this country. My oncology team is supporting me and encouraging me to go and get cured. Perfect statement I have heard to date “it’s only a plane ride away”. He is right. The money for the treatment is secondary, we will get it. I am not worried. The hardest part was finding the treatment and now that is done. Thank God! I am so happy that there is finally a light at the end of my tunnel. Oh come on not that kind of light! “stay away from the light, stay away from the light”
~Christine~
seriously look at Debs face!!!
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