Is It Just Me?

Seriously is it just me....or is it happening to you as well? I mean getting older. It is humanly impossible for me to wrap my head around the fact that I am old enough, to be old enough to have children the same age as me. Does that even make sense? That is how I feel. Last week my youngest daughter celebrated the last year of high school ritual of prom. As I stood and stared at her I was in a complete daze as to where the time had gone. The hype of getting her all ready to go that night transported me in time to the day I was getting ready for my prom. Which by the way was what..... a mere few years ago? I mean seriously. Time can not be moving as fast as it is.... I still think the 90's was the last decade; where the hell was I in the 2000's. Anyway getting back to Samantha and the whole last prom to be had in this household.

As I said I was in a complete daze the entire day. It really hit me, my youngest daughter is finishing high school in 3 weeks and then on to a post- secondary institution...Ugg I just taught her how to tie her shoes. This end of high school also means I will no longer have my morning 30 minute commute to her school. This morning in particular I asked Samantha to come up with another routine for me for the summer otherwise I think I might lose my mind. It can't end. I need her to be 14 forever, not this 18 year old woman who wants to go to Toronto to study English. Doesn't she know that I selfishly need her to stop growing/aging? If she gets older (being the baby) THAT MAKES ME OLDER! And older real quick. 

When Samantha arrived home after having her hair done, I literally could not think straight. No makeup, no dress and I was already a hot mess. Her sisters were fussing all around her and preparing her prom bag and helping her with the final details of getting ready. I was left out of that as her other mothers jumped right in and took over. I was not sad about being left out, actually that is how it is in this house. My daughters are closer than molecules. Trust me. 

The grand entrance into the living room....that was it, I became Tammy Faye Baker; mascara dripping off my chin the whole works. But it was Samantha's fault she chose a white prom dress! She looked like a stunning bride. Which screwed with my mind big time! Now I survived the other girls prom and yes they also looked amazing on their day but Samantha is the baby, and well no matter what she is 14 to me. Although she looked like a grown up woman my little Sammy Wammy was hidden under all that makeup, hair spray and gown. I am not old enough to have this happen to me; my children are not old enough to take on the world.

Ashely, Samantha, Melissa

 Samantha, Melissa, Ashley

MY PRIDE & JOY

Ashley is already going into her 4th year of study and for heavens sake Melissa is already graduating from her program on the 18th of June, and now Samantha going to University? Here I am waiting for Patsy to call me and tell me the limo is on it's way to pick me and my dreamy prom date up...know what I mean? Yes I am proud of my girls and I am excited about what is happening in their grown up lives but how did this happen? Where did the time go?

This past weekend I told you that I attended my Aunt's funeral, as I ate my lunch I looked around at my cousins and thought "who are these people?" Grey hair? Turning 57 as one cousin told me. I really can't believe how time flies. I never realized it was also happening to me. I am 44 this year... yup from 18 to 44 in about 35 seconds.

The only time that I want time to move fast at lightening speed is between pay cheques, other than that we should be able to control and slow it down. I always say to enjoy and appreciate life as you just never know....and truthfully I am eating my own tasty words. It is so true and this horrible truth of what time does to our lives makes me want to enjoy every single second of it. Before I know it I will be old and grey. I am not sure I will be able to get over the fact that my baby is a woman but I accept that life is happening for her now; I also know that Ashley and Melissa are at the peak of their mountains. I am grateful that I am here to witness all of these joyous occasions; I simply wish I could freeze time and savour this just a bit longer. Who doesn't wish that? ha ha I am no exception to the rule of wishing for more time..

I woke up this morning feeling a bit off with thoughts of how sad it is that we are getting older so quickly and while driving Pat to work I found myself staring at him. Of course he wondered what was up and quite abruptly asked "what?" I looked at him and asked him "when did you go bald?" "are we really that old" he turned to me and defended himself right away. " I am not bald because of my age..thank you very much"  " I am bald because I am married to you!" womp womp womp. 

I laughed for 2 reasons 1) the poor bastard is bald and it's because he is almost 50 and 
2) because the poor bastard is probably right, I am certain I AM the reason he is bald.

So my babies are all grown up and starting their own lives and I am just thankful I am here to see it. I appreciate my time and hold dearly the opportunities that await me; each waking moment. 

~Christine~