Feelings of Grief...

Yesterday I sat in a church amongst hundreds of teenagers dressed in black; and witnessed young men and women firmly holding one another as they were preparing to say good bye to a fellow classmate. A young man that my children had the pleasure of knowing and attending school with, took his own life. I struggled with the preaching as I heard a priest try and explain this young mans life and how it was God’s will.

Blame? Not one person is to blame. Not his mother or his father or anyone of his friends. Not one person. Why? Only he knows why. Guilt? Each and every man woman and child that knew this boy will feel a small part of guilt, which is human nature. What were the warning signs? What could we have done differently? My daughters were devastated as were hundreds of fellow classmates. They struggled because they felt helpless.  

The question now should be what CAN be done differently?

Our children are so well networked, computers, cell phones etc… with in 30 minutes of hearing of his passing there were literally hundreds of posts on his facebook wall… with expressions of sadness, love for him and instant reminiscing of the good times they shared with this boy. The truth in the matter is social networking can be a horrible experience for some adolescents, rumours, exploitations’ can spread through literally thousands of kids within a matter of minutes.

However with guidance from parents and other adults, social networking can turn a new page on helping children. Perhaps encouraging our children to create “phone chain” type systems, where kids write the same type of messages on facebook walls to friends; expressing their love, encouraging words and reminding each other that they are accountable to one another. Perhaps a simple “hey” on someone’s wall is a balance and a check for some.

I am sure that you know yourself how easy words can change your mood, and your opinion of yourself, bad or good. Last week I received an email from a woman I just met, I was so surprised and delighted to hear the kind words she left for me. What she didn’t know is that I had cancer treatment the day before and felt down and out; she touched me with out knowing the impact she would have on me. The power of the human spirit if shared with the best of intentions can inspire the most amazing results.

I never want to witness a child or anyone, for that matter; succumb to thoughts of desperation. Life is worth living and worth fighting for, no matter what you face. It is also our responsibility to reach out each and everyday somehow someway, even in the smallest of ways. I wanted to share one of my favourite poems with you, about children written By :Kahlil Gibran.

In memory of Llew Falla. Rest in Peace

On Children 

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.