I love you Diet Coke…….

I have an intimate love affair with Diet Coke…. I have been a dedicated diet coke consumer for many years. I must have her everyday. I am a total bitch with out it. I find comfort in holding a cold wet can in my hand. The feeling of it burning the back of my throat is almost orgasmic…….

I have read many articles about how bad this soft drink is for you, but like most smokers I ignore the warnings. I simply feel complete with a fridge full of Diet Coke. I am a pretty easy going mom with my girls, we have a great relationship; until I notice a half full can of diet coke abandoned  some where in my home. I fricken loose it, or if some one should happen to consume the last cold one in the fridge…….wow I through a conniption fit worse than any spoiled tantrum throwing toddler who just had their toy taken from them. In either circumstance, I am sure they girls are content knowing I do not carry a gun in the home.

No sense of appropriateness when it comes to fucking with me and my Diet Coke! Seriously! What do I really ask for out of life? I am not a card carrying Diva that has to have all the latest trends, I just need a few simple things in my life and having a cold beverage readily available to me ….is a reasonable request. I will not tell you how many I drink in one day as I fear that not one of you will understand the volume I intake or the true love of the product that I have.. so don’t ask.

Most people enjoy going to McDonalds for the fries, I may be the only freak that loves their Diet Coke. I will go through the Drive Thru and order a toilet bowl size diet coke, especially since all size drinks are only $1.00. I am a “crack head” when it comes to my beloved soft drink consuming relationship with “Diet Coke”.

In fact, I have quite a muscular right fore arm….not from working out! It is from flexing my right arm while opening the tab of the can version of the product. I refer to it as my DC muscle; which my children always thought that was the proper terminology of that the muscle, well until they grew up and realized they should never believe anything I say.

I know that on occasion my children will take a Diet Coke open it and leave it all alone to slowly turn to room temperature allowing each and every last fizzing bubble to completely flatten, hence slowly and painfully murdering ….( sorry had to pause and contain my anger, the thought is making me tense up and freak out….)  My daughters are evil.

I have even been known to avoid going to a specific restaurant because of the fact they serve “Diet Pepsi” as opposed to my beloved Diet Coke. I order Diet Coke the waitress responds “Is Diet Pepsi OK?” and turn and as quick as lightening I am like NO! Is that not like ordering a steak and the waitress offering a hot dog in its place? Well maybe not to you but it is to me!

Ok so it has been said that Diet Coke contains formaldehyde. Well we all know formaldehyde-based solutions are also used in embalming to disinfect and temporarily preserve human and animal remains. So…………Diet Coke Thank you, for preserving me and keeping me alive, maybe, just maybe, I have cured myself by drinking diet coke!

This blog is dedicated to The Greatest Love in my Life…. DC I love you.