When to let go? “Letting Go” is by far one of the most difficult things to do in life. There are so many complex dynamic aspects to letting go, such as when dealing with ; childhood memories that scar us, built up resentments towards family, your spouse or your children for that matter. Letting go of someone you love, that does not love you any longer, letting go of a person that has passed…. No matter what it is that you have to “let go” of and move on from, there are many steps to take before you can truly let go. Here are some things to consider and perhaps assist you.
What plagues you, and why? Is it something that consumes you? Does it keep you awake at night with thoughts of wishing things were different? Can you forgive? Can you forget? Can you “Let Go?” Are you strong enough to face the issues on your own?
Many of us have faced traumatic childhood experiences that have influenced our behaviours and attitudes as adults. I ask at what point can you forgive and forget and move on? What can be done now as an adult that will change what occurred when you were young? The truth in the matter is nothing we do today can change what happened yesterday. The reality of what ever situation you are holding on to, can be let go of. Forgiveness is something to consider.
Forgiveness is an act of strength. It allows you to stop the hurt and frustration over a particular event that hurt you. Forgiveness allows for acceptance that you can not change the past but you can move on from it. Forgiveness in yourself as well, you were not at fault in creating the situation that you need to let go of, perhaps you are partially angry for not being able to control the outcome of the situation or what happened to you. Without having to try and figure out why things happened the way they did, or why it had to happen at all. It really is ok to accept whatever you faced, you already survived it, and you are here right now!
Holding on can also inhibit your ability to achieve self love. I am not ashamed to tell you that when I was young I had an individual with a trusting position in my life violate my innocence. This individual should have been in a protective state of my life, but rather he tore down my walls of safety and crossed the barrier of my trust. For many years I felt ashamed of how I handled my thoughts of his violation, in fact I blamed myself. It was not until I realized that I was not in control of the outcome, that I began to forgive myself first, then him. Yes him, I did give forgiveness. He passed away many years ago, and I found myself seeking God’s forgiveness for him. Today I have total peace for that.
It is very easy to hold on to things that have occurred in our childhood, easy because, it is convenient to lean on them when we get down. We can blame today’s shitty events on our childhood traumas, even though they are unrelated and it is a dangerous trap to get caught in. Do our childhood traumas really have anything to do with today? Perhaps the Letting go is a difficult task but worth the journey. Loving your self enough to let go of your past is the greatest healing gift you can give yourself. What freedom! To be able to let the hurt go and move on….. Like I mentioned before, you have already survived it!
It may be that you need to seek the assistance of a professional to make the journey of forgiveness and letting go. What ever it takes…find a way! I find solace in sharing my life experiences with others. I also believe that absolutely everything I have been through has been to teach me or show me what my purpose on this earth is. I have been given strength as a tool; it is God’s will that I share this with others.
I truly believe that it is through connecting with one another and sharing our pain, fears, joys and thoughts that we garner the strength and courage to face our lives with the fortitude that is needed to rise above our woes and live life to its fullest, with a smile on our faces and love in our hearts!
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