There is not a god given person on this earth that has NOT struggled with themselves, their families or their life in some form or another. The struggle part of life is EASY....it's the getting past it that is hard. I have gotten to that point and I hope that many of you have at least contimplicated enriching your own lives since I started this 30 day blog.
Family- Your family is made by you; family consists of individuals that love you unconditionally despite your character flaws. Family can be anyone that you love. When I tell you that my family is all that matters to me I certainly mean it. My children are my everything. I love them because of who they are as people and not just because I created them. I have said this before...they are the hope that creates a light in my darkness...I can't imagine my life without my daughters, not for one second. Now having said that, I can tell you that I am heart broken and devastated when I think of not being there for them when they will need me the most. I know they will be fine if some thing should happen to me but... I want to hold their children some day....
My husband ...oh boy that is a 30 day blog in it's self. I love him so much that it hurts. This man came into my life when I was young, unsure of the world and so unaware of who I was. He saved me, he loved me, and has given me everything a woman needs. He has not always been perfect but neither have I. Marriage is not a constant...it is a decision each and every day. It does not come easy, but it is worth the journey to greatness. I can honestly say that it has been one of my best accomplishments; 23 years of marriage. Pat is my son as he calls me "De-mommies" which I love. I love the little boy in him. I am so scared for him, as I know without me he will be lost. We are one person, one soul... I can't bare the thoughts of his potential pain. I can only pray that God will carry him through whatever hardship he faces. But of course my thoughts are of positivity and survival.... bottom line I love and adore my Pat. Truth.
When it comes to Family- not your spouse or children, I am talking about parents, siblings and extended family. Why and the hell can we all just get along? Seriously. I can not for the life me understand why families have got to be so damn dysfunctional. She said this, she said that, he won't this...blah blah blah. Don't read this and pretend that somehow none of this applies to you, because I know differently. Trust me, this is not my first rodeo with family drama. Does it not matter to you that you will never speak again? What could have happened that was so bad that you stop talking altogether? Can you at least try and fix the problem? I have to admit that there are family members that I have that have not spoken in years and it literally kills me to think that I may die in a week and I have not had the opportunity to love or be loved by them...it sickens me to think that people; human beings can't put their differences aside to just be human if only for a day. Family is so important....and I am here right now knowing this...I feel the pain of not having the chance to have the love and support my children so desperately need. I need it...
I have so much more to say, but I am exhausted. I am tired emotionally and physically. In a nutshell...I guess what I am trying to say is that I love and adore my children and I just want to be around to enjoy their greatness .... with respect to the ones that "love" me from a far, just know that I love you no matter what, you are my family.
~Christine~
This is The Boulos Family Motto
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