Wednesday, February 5, 2014

What I HOPE to accomplish…



When I get better… which I will; I will be announcing the creation of my very own Foundation. The H.O.P.E  Foundation. (ok…. I just sort of did that). 

For over a year I have been working on the idea of creating a foundation that will serve the needs of terminally ill adult patients, by fulfilling a dream/ wish of theirs. Not their children or spouses…the patient themselves. I have always had a dream of creating a foundation; the basis has always been about helping others. Homelessness and Food Banks have always had a special place in my heart, but since I have been inducted into the Terminal C Club my thoughts are now specific to what the foundation would be about. I believe that this is my purpose. I often pray for clarity and to have an understanding of what I am supposed to do with my life. I believe that this is my calling. To bring Hope to others.


I wish I was that guy in Alberta Canada who won the 40 million dollar lottery and decided to give it all to charity! Ok so I don’t want to be him, in that I do NOT want to give all of it away; most, but not all….

(Dear Tom Crist, if you are reading this blog….send me an email and I will let you know how you can send me some money.) 


 I would love to have my hands on about 1 million of it. Not a penny will go to research. I do not mean to offend others when I say that I do not want to raise funds for research, it is just that I believe Doctors and The Medical Professionals should be lobbying for that. I also believe that the Government should be forcing pharmaceutical companies to give free drugs and treatments. As a patient I just want to be a cured; and if I can’t be cured… then I want my life to be a bit easier and less stressful…somehow.


Truth is money, money, money. The root of all evil, the route to all evil any way you coin it….it’s evil. The whole premise of money is weighted too high in society. If you have it ….you have it all, if you have none….. you are shit out of luck baby! So my dream Foundation is to create HOPE where it does not exist. Hope is the only answer to all of life’s problems. I want to bring hope to others that need it most. I want to lessen their loads, I want people to smile and  I want to end their stress. Somehow, some way.  The Make a Wish Foundation that serves children with a wish, like an all expense trip to Disney…. I wish there was one for adults. ..Oh how I wish this. That is what my H.O.P.E Foundation will do, it will be the mandate! 


I am an adult, and I am a person that has an illness, so I am going to speak from that stand point. I do not have the financial means to “do the whole bucket list” and that is frustrating. Like many others if I had money I would have access to medications not covered and even possible treatments that could cure me. 


I am being selfish and perhaps unrealistic to believe that I deserve something more than another person just because I am ill. Or am I ? I am not suggesting that a free trip around the world is in order, but there are days that I wish I could have experienced a dream of mine come to reality. My children and my family are a huge blessing in my life that I do not overlook, ever; but I am an individual outside of that circle. I am an adult with bills to pay, a household to maintain and a crew of children that I need to tend to regardless of where I am in my mind or physical state. The pressure to contain my life and the stress of it amounts to an unfair high. Some days I just shake and vibrate with worries about ME and where I am. To have even just a day focusing on me….would do a lot of good for my psyche.


I am NOT soliciting anything here btw…. I just want to share a perspective; mine. I feel tied down and caged and it enrages me. I have spent many weeks in the hospital, hours upon hours in Doctor’s offices and the equivalent of weeks in the Cancer Clinic. I have conversed with many other patients about the feeling of bitterness and anger about being ill. I usually try to be positive and remind others as well as myself that there is HOPE, and to rely on that. Some days HOPE just is not enough. Sometimes we need to rely on others to bring that to us. Remember the movie “Patch Adams” with Robin Williams as the Doctor; he brought joy and laughter to the terminal. He made sure that end of life requests were fulfilled no matter how silly they were; like sitting in a pool full of spaghetti. That movie kills me…  laugh and cry. Many adults will terminal illnesses wish that they could escape their realities if even for one day. Not something for their families, something for them.


My life before Cancer; if I can even remember what that was like….. lol …Consisted of me being involved in organizations that provided a service to people who needed help the most. I began my passion for “involvement” when I was 22 years old; it started with Politics and running in our Municipal Election for The School Board. After serving my term I moved on to larger issues that affected our whole community. I often traveled to Toronto and many other major cities to protest, to demonstrate, to speak publically and stand alongside others who needed to have their voices heard. I had the privilege of delivering soup and blankets to the homeless down the dark and cold alleys of Toronto on many occasions. This experience alone changed my life. For many years my husband and children were known for the local canned food drive, literally bringing in 10’s of thousands of cans. I recall the days of the girls walking from house to house canvassing for food.  It filled us in so many ways.


Long story short…. I am an advocate. It is deep within me. I am that person who cannot hear a problem without wanting to fix it. The news depresses me, as I know I cannot change what I hear about. So what I am working on will allow me to change on a small scale the lives of many others. Most nights I fall asleep thinking of the joy I will see in the faces of people we surprise with a “HOPE Foundation” Dream come true. For Adults. To bring joy and happiness where it is needed the most. We carry so much in life as it is, and having an illness that we know will take our life is just too much to handle. AND we shouldn’t have to! Not alone anyway.


Aside from my family and focusing on getting better, this is all I think about. I am going to get better and once my surgery is over and I am back home, this will be what I will be working on. I have a few projects in the works and they all tie into one another. I am very excited about launching this. The committee of individuals assisting me with this are very much looking forward to helping me make this a reality.  I thought I would write about this today as I have had a few emails from people asking me what keeps me busy each day. Every day I slug away at creating brochures, donation request letters and I am currently setting the date for our big Golf Tournament that will occur sometime this summer.  This is something that I know will continue to enrich my life and that of others as well. Giving HOPE where it is needed most.
~Christine~


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